That Which I Do...

Forgive me Lord for not hitting my knees
And instead turning only to me
My pride and attempts at being the one
To solve problems in self-sufficiency

Only make it harder to live each day -
With ever-changing rules
Trying to solve every person's troubles
And finding myself such a fool

But You are the rest for all weary
You are the king of my heart
And You are anxiously waiting
For me to finally start

Trusting you with my tomorrows
Trusting you to be the Master
Learning to simply be your clay
Not rushing the days on faster

But living instead with humility
For I have nothing to boast of at all
Except for you, my Lord Jesus Christ
My Creator who bore man's fall

And yes, You can bear it all
My Father, the Lord of all

Broken

It's not that I feel broken
It's that I feel unfixable

Facing Defeat

Like a soldier without a beat
Or a cause to give his life to
I'm lost and facing defeat
Wishing that I could still die for you

I Wish I Could

I want to wish loneliness upon you
So you might think of me again
Perhaps if a fear of yours came true
You might feel how my every day has been

Without you

I want to wish regret upon you
If you could just see what we had
You'd see what I'm now going through
But my pain is now twice as bad

Without you

I want to want you to be unhappy
But I can't seem to bring myself to
In truth I just want you to find your smile
From me like you used to do

And I'm having a hard time coping
With the future that I'm seeing 
(Never knowing, emptily hoping)
There's just this emptiness of being

Without you

So I'll Swim

The waves are lapping and
Lapping at my tired face
I swim this stretch all by myself - I -
The most foolish of the human race

I jumped in to get away
From you - although your arms
Held only love and rest for me.
Nothing helps, soothes, disarms

A heart that is swimming
Through tears just to flee from
The monster in the mirror -
It's a battle never won

So I'll swim

This river called indecision
Battling a current of regret
I've swum so long I'm tired
But I've not reached the other shore yet

(But when in my prideful ways I'm set...
I deserve just what I get)
 

I will

When sunshine's on my face
And I feel I've found my place
I will love you

'Till tears are dripping off my chin
And all is emptiness within
I will love you

Whether it takes my pain
Or the pouring of all rain
I will love you

Irregardless of our age
Of the mountains that we face
With the turning of each page
I promise I will love you