Lost Train

I said it was lovely, crisp and new. 

I said it to the one next to me: you.

You broke the calm surface,

Shattered the glass,

Muddied the waters,

Shaved the dry grass.

I was by your side all the time

Drowning in the foreign grime

You broke all the eggs

To show me the yolks

Shells are so pretty white

I miss the mirrors and smoke

Thanks for giving me the truth

But now you’ve lost my youth

It’s a gift you can’t give back

One I didn’t know I was giving

Now I feel ashamed for the world

And for the life we’re all living

Fear

I’m afraid of backstreets

Where assaulting eyes will find me

I don’t like to find you

Just near enough to remind me

I’m the one that draws their fire

It’s in the way I live

My shield has long been shattered

I keep all I have to give

My words seem to come out wrong

When I know you’re around

I wonder how long I'll fear

That simple little sound

Footsteps.

Imperfection

One day a man stitched closed my wrist

He had no feeling in his eyes that day

Silently he marked the base of my fist 

With imperfection that will never go away

You Still Linger

Why do you still linger

In the nights when I’m afraid

I feel your tracing finger

I wonder if you might’ve stayed

You told me what you loathed

It crushed me to hear my own flaws

Brought out in the sun, unclothed

The pain of rejection still gnaws

You left me alone on that curb, so cold

Is that where my sins all lead me? 

You’ve made me feel wicked and old

And there’s nothing good left to see

It’s odd how sadness ages a soul

Weariness is all the day has to give

Darkness threatens to swallow me whole

Dark is the life I’m meant to live

Never Enough

When you’re angry with what I’ve done 

I’m so afraid that you’ll take the door 

And that I’ll never see you again

Perhaps it’s because that happened before 

When you speak love, and I pull away

Crying like you’ve ripped out my very core

Knowing, fearing your love is deceit

Perhaps it’s because that happened before 

I fear that I’m not enough for you

You see, I was never enough for those

Who left me alone and resigned

To live with the life I never chose

Perhaps love is not what I’ve had in the past

But I can’t help but wonder, or know

That maybe we could’ve made it last

If I weren’t so wretched – making them go

So if you’re leaving me today for the road

Leaving my chains, my tears, and my pain

I hope you find a girl with a lighter load

I don’t blame you for leaving my rain